tomorrow is a day ive been waiting for for over five years, and im so glad it’s finally here, i don’t think anyone knows what it means to me
“I know all the lines to say, the part im expected to play, but in the reflection i’m worlds away. As i put my costume on, eyelashes one by one, been doing this so long i can tie the knot behind my back, and everyones waiting, and it’s getting harder to hear what my heart is saying, cos everyones waiting.” - Missy Higgins
I don’t know how to beats this person inside of myself, this person knows how to take over my senses, make me hate myself and the ones who love me and I don’t know how to beat it, I don’t know how to stop it from clouding my every memory with thick hazy smoke. You wait for a moment forever and it’s tainted by the scary controlling hold it has on me. I don’t know how to stop it; I don’t know how to run faster than it, fight it or stay on top of it. The scariest part of it all is that no one else can see when that person over takes me, it would use me to hurt the people that I love the most and I can do nothing but sit back and watch it do it hoping that I can still apologise when I gain back my control.
Things are going to get tough and I don’t know if I am going to be able to stay in control, I don’t know if I am going to be able to watch it like I used to, it’s going to get me and keep me this time. It will taint every memory with its haze and destroy the bonds I was fortunate enough to form.
